Sexist Jokes

Here are some jokes sure to give you a laugh. I'm sure you're all sensible enough to find the humor in them.

A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says, "what seems to be the problem officer?" The cop looks bluntly at him and says, "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?" the man let out a sigh. "Thank god! For a second there I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock on the stove.

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

What if God's a woman?
Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why.(Adam Ferrara)

What's a surefire way to remember a woman's birthday?
Forget it once.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes hasn't already been told twice.


And now, a bit of stupid for the ladies:

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.

Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because these men already have boyfriends.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

When would you want a man's company?
When he owns it.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.

What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom,
and a Jackass to pay for it all.

Take it in. Soak it up. And remember: laugh stupid!